The 20 most random and absurd thoughts I’ve had on a bad anxiety day

Anyone who’s experienced bad anxiety will tell you that some crrrraaazzyy things can work you up at times. We’re talking about the most ridiculous, pointless ideas that somehow pop into your head then refuse to leave without making a scene… Familiar?

I know what you’re thinking – “everyone worries like that sometimes”. Well, maybe so, but the problem comes when those, seemingly meaningless, daily aspects of life are able to trigger a feeling of panic and make you feel physically sick. 

These examples might sound hilarious, and in fact, it is hilarious in retrospect. There’s something really bittersweet about looking back on a painful moment and thinking ‘hahaha you silly cow, Kirsten’; Sweet to have that clarity of mind afterwards, bitter to know it’s also very real at the time. Pretty exhausting too… 

All of the fruitless worries below have, at one time or another, catalysed me to feel symptoms of nausea, panic, fear, palpitations and headaches.

(Saying that, feel free to enjoy them!)

  1. Oh my god it’s getting really cloudy, the sky is a horrible dark colour – I’m feeling okay now but I’m going to feel so down if the sun goes in.
  2. If I don’t learn to make coq au vin soon, my boyfriend will definitely leave me. 
  3. If my parents weren’t genetically conditioned to love me, would they just think I’m a massive arsehole like everyone else?
  4. I have to go into the staff room to get something but there’s a meeting in there and I’m terrified to draw attention to myself; they all think I’m a joke.
  5. I want to see my friends so much but socialising to me, is what climbing Mount Everest would be to a morbidly obese person with vertigo. 
  6. If I carry on like this I will waste my life away and perish alone, unloved and leaving no trace. There will be 6 people at my funeral and it will be shit.
  7. I’m overpaid and I don’t deserve it. I’m rubbish at what I do and feel guilty taking money for it. My boss is so nice to me too – I refuse to feel good about that and will instead question why daily.
  8. Everybody’s laughing at me. 
  9. I love movies but I can’t watch anything because I’m frightened of what emotions they might bring. “Upbeat comedy, let’s see… Anchorman? Haha! Will Farrell’s funny! …I’m not funny. I’ll never be funny. NOPE”
  10. I wonder if my friends secretly feel nothing towards me and only stick around because they’re good people.
  11. What if somebody I love dies tomorrow? 
  12. My parents and brothers will probably die before me and I can’t survive without them. I will never cope. 
  13. No man will ever stay with me because I’m like this. I’m waiting patiently to see when my current perfect relationship will go tits-up.
  14. I’m convinced that I will get burgled or mugged or attacked at some point. What will I do when it happens?
  15. If I wear this dress people will think I’m x, y and z – it’s easier if I just don’t go.
  16. If I go on this night out, I’ll need to drink a lot so that I’m confident enough to enjoy myself without worrying… but I feel so depressed on hangovers. I can’t have fun like a normal person, eurgh.
  17. My gran is probably looking down on me in utter disappointment. I see her face in tears as she realises what I really am.
  18. I have plans to leave the house in a few hours but I’m dreading it; – I don’t think I can go. I’m such a pathetic loner.
  19. Me or someone I love is going to get cancer. 
  20. I can’t reply to this message or even open it because it makes me so anxious. I’ll just leave it for as long as possible until my rudeness pisses the other person off… and then worry about that instead.

So there you have it… a little bit heavy, I know, but nobody worries about being too fabulous, do they? 

Can you relate? Do you have a top-tip for anxiety sufferers? I’d love to see your comments and thoughts on the subject guys!

Once again, thanks for reading.
K xx

2 thoughts on “The 20 most random and absurd thoughts I’ve had on a bad anxiety day

  1. I absolutely loved this post. So interesting that you bring up “everyone is laughing at me.” Ugh…is that not me or what? I get dread having to do social outings with my husband’s friends. I dread it each time. I often cancel just because my social anxiety is so terrible.

    Like

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